Fire in My Eyes by Brad Snyder

Author:Brad Snyder
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780306825156
Publisher: Da Capo Press
Published: 2016-08-08T16:00:00+00:00

ONE WEEK LATER, an abrupt knock on the door penetrated the pitch black of my small barracks room, which jerked me from a deep slumber. After a moment of confusion, I realized that the knock had occurred in real life, rather than a dream. Before I could move, the knock repeated, sounding louder and harsher. I bolted upright, moved to the door, and ripped it open, becoming temporarily blinded by the hallway’s bright lights.

My boss, the SEAL lieutenant nicknamed Fatty, was standing in my doorframe, appearing as a dark silhouette against the hall’s fluorescent light. Ignoring how close he got to me, he stepped inside, and was obviously uncomfortable.

“Brad, there’s no easy way to tell you this…” he blurted out.

Oh, no … I thought.

Fatty wouldn’t knock on my door this late unless it was bad … real bad. Had a member of my platoon been killed? Their names raced through my mind as I tried to recall the last time I had spoken to each one. Where were they? What were they doing?

I concluded that one or more of my teammates must have been dead. That was why Fatty was in my room in the middle of the night. Next, my panicked thoughts shifted to how the tragedy had occurred. Was it an IED or a shooting? I immediately felt sorry for whichever teammate had tried to desperately save one or more lives, but failed. My heart ached for the one or more military families that would receive such dreadful news, like the family of that fallen soldier we honored at Kandahar Airfield.

As is required during wartime, my mind then shifted to my duties as an EOD officer. We were now down at least one man, which would put all of our lives at even greater risk during subsequent missions. I needed to call back home to our command, and then start working on a situation report. Next, I would need to—

“Brad, it’s your father,” my boss interrupted. “I just received this notification that your dad has … um … passed away.”

He handed me a letter. To my utter disbelief, it was a notification from the Red Cross.

At my mother’s request, I was being officially informed that my father, Michael William Snyder, was dead.

My dad?

I needed to call my mom. I had to not only find out how my father had died, but what I could do to help my mother and my siblings. As a dreadful combination of panic and grief began to set in during that terrible moment, it was so frustrating to be half a world away from the people I cared about most. Then, I felt completely helpless as I wondered what I was supposed to do.

“Let me know what you need, man,” Fatty once again interrupted. “We’re here for you … anything you need.

“I’m sorry,” he said before slowly and quietly leaving the room.

While calling home and hearing my mother’s anguish was extremely painful, I kept my emotions in check. I knew that somehow, I had to temporarily disconnect myself from my father’s death.

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